‘If You Love Your Wife, Make Her Matter.’ – Man tells
"Losing my first wife changed me. I have done everything to make life difficult for her. I have put her down in the lowest of lows, but even in the low, when I see her smiling or happy with herself, I feel useless" -Man
An unidentified is asking for an advice after sharing a sorrowful message on social media.
According to the messenger, he feels hopeless losing his first wife to another man over ‘cheat’.
Reading his post, he has all it takes as a man and due to that he has been flirting with different ladies even though, he loves his wife. Moreover, he never knew why he was cheating until his wife had sex with another man. That was when he realized his actions.
He added, he married again thinking he would feel happy yet he feel useless seeing his ex-wife with another man.
Read his full story below:
"Mr. David Bondze, how are you doing? For the past two days, I have spent hours, reading from your wall. And this is so unlike me. I have a very busy schedule, I hate reading, I don't have time for Facebook posts, but for some reason, your platform has gotten me hooked to Facebook since Wednesday. You have a very dangerous platform.
I am a CEO, well paid. I live well. I can afford anything I want. I can have any woman I want, but I feel I am useless. The love of my life is my ex-wife. I am in my second marriage, married to a far beautiful and younger lady. I am supposed to be content, because I have it all - to put it mildly. But Dave, I feel useless. I am cheating on my second wife. I don't know what's wrong with me. I thought I would be happy, but I am not, to be frank with you. Anytime I look at all these people who look up to me, and think life is or might be good for me, I wonder if they see my uselessness.
Losing my first wife changed me. I have done everything to make life difficult for her. I have put her down in the lowest of lows, but even in the low, when I see her smiling or happy with herself, I feel useless. I can't stop loving and wanting to hurt her so bad that, she would have to need me again. Dave, men will cheat, no matter what they come on your platform to say. They will lie about it and pretend about it. Let me speak for myself...
When I married my first wife, I knew she wasn't a virgin. She had dated other men before me. But when she became the love of my life, I knew I had in my heart, GOLD. We did 12 years with two kids. I cheated on her many times. And mind you, I was not cheating because I did not love her. If you can hear what I am really saying in my submission to you, I am still in love with her, even though I'd want to believe I have moved on.
I was very careful with my moves outside the home. I did things accordingly, in the house just to fill in any suspected gaps. I handled my outside activities cautiously until one of my escapades thought it wise to blow my cover, by confronting my ex-wife with facts. Had it not been that, I would still be happily married.
When a woman cheats on you, it's normal. In fact, life goes on. But Dave, when the woman you love cheats on you, you become useless a man. If I am using useless on myself many times already, it's simply because I am still broken. When my ex-wife paid me back with an affair, I saw the light in the clouds, and it was bright as the sun. I heard angels singing, and trumpets sounding. I saw the snakes walk and a sheep crawl. I saw a baby's sharp teeth, and a toothless adult. I saw an Imam lead praise and worship in church, and pastors bowing in mosques. I saw things. I experienced things. I understood things. I became a thing.
My marriage to my ex was intended to be forever, but Dave, my affairs and her one-time affair just to hurt me made forever not to last. I told her I love her. I told her I could never live without her. I told her I cared. Dave, I feel all those about her, even now, though divorced. They weren't empty words or some wishful thinking... I love Audrey.
I never understood why I was cheating on my wife, until she had sex with another man. That was when I knew how my actions had made her feel.
‘The fact that you have a nice voice doesn’t mean you are called by God’ - Cindy Thompson on Gospel Musicians
I thought I had needs as a man. I couldn't keep it in my pants for just her. I thought she would understand once caught and apologized to. I never considered her need of me to be loyal to her in the marriage. It never occurred to me until she had her affair. I knew I could have another woman to replace her if she left, and I had a beautiful replacement, but Dave, the new is nothing like the old. The old stood for something. The new is just something. She doesn't stand for anything, just something to replace something with.
Audrey wasn't supposed to find out about my escapades. But when she did, she cheated on purpose, and then, told me after the sex. She packed all of her belongings, took our kids, to rent another place of abode.
I married my second wife to be happy, and not to feel alone. I married again with the intention of becoming a better man for this new woman, indirectly, hitting back at my first wife. But Dave, once a cheat, always a cheat. I am cheating on my new wife and I do not know why I am not becoming any better. I can't stop the lies and cover-ups either.
It is still hard for me to believe the love of my life cheated on me, and not only that, but also went ahead to divorce me. The reality of the truth hurts. I have nothing to hold on to - after I lost my first wife. I have nothing, though I seem to have everything. I have begged, but she's moved on. She thinks I am no longer good enough for her. And that hurts.
I am a man in every sense of it, and in as much as I believe we all may disappoint our spouses someday, I would want to believe a small percentage of you guys may want to be better at fidelity than some of us useless men.
Do not allow lack of self-control to rewrite the future you and your wife believe in. Have a clear end to the book you and your wife are writing on this journey called marriage. Do not let yourself down. Do not let your wife down. And if there are any children, do not let your children down.
I feel like a garbage thrown in the streets by the one person I hoped would keep me. I wasn't good enough for my first wife. The divorce hurts, but I am very happy she left me. Because she seems happy today. Whenever I visit my children, and I see the life and joy in her eyes, I smile. She's happy, and that's all that matters.
If you love your wife, make her matter."