Couples often tell therapists that one of their toughest challenges is adjusting to a spouse’s personality.

Many are ready to give up and resign themselves to a miserable state of existence. Others fear their situation will worsen to a point where the spouse’s personality turns repulsive — and divorce will be inevitable.

So, what do you do? Stay miserable? Get angry and resentful? Leave?

Maybe there’s a better way.

Consider these facts about differences in personalities.

God created us to be different. He knew there would be a place in His plan for introverts and extroverts, for thinkers and feelers.

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When we realize that, it’s often easier to accept and adjust to a spouse’s personality. It may even become possible to celebrate those differences.

It’s easier to spot a flaw than to see strength. Jesus put it in terms of spying a speck in another’s eye, versus seeing a log in our own (Matthew 7:3-5).

Your ability to tolerate your mate’s personality changes with time. Most of us can stand negative behavior for a while.

But everyone has a limit. Is that the case with you? Maybe it’s not that your spouse’s personality has become more of a problem; it may be that your ability to value or overlook some attributes has diminished. The change is in your “irritation threshold,” which may need adjusting.

1 Corinthians 12 14 urges us to appreciate individual differences. The apostle Paul explains that every member of the “body” is valuable. Just because a part is different doesn’t give us the right to despise it and set it apart from the others.

The same is true with your mate’s personality. It may be different and sometimes difficult to manage. But God doesn’t want this to allow division in your marriage.

Author: Jean Daly